Wednesday, April 19, 2006

We Remember

Today we remember an event that happened in America eleven years ago. It was a terrorist attack that affected 168 people who lost their lives, many who were severely injured, and family and friends who had to cope with the tragedy.

The Oklahoma City bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995, was a horrific scene of chaos. I remember being home from school that day and seeing the aftermath of it on television through the day.

It is a reminder that our lives can be taken in an instant. This is why we need to know for sure that we’ll be on our way to heaven if a tragic event occurs. If you’re not sure, here is a link on the Maack Ministries website that explains the plan of salvation: Are You Saved?

Today, there is a great memorial site where the building stood. Grassy areas covered with 168 chairs, one for each life taken. There is a shallow area filled with water. A museum is located nearby with the history of the building and those who worked in it. There is still a spray-painted message on the nearby building wall from a rescue team. It’s a very peaceful place and a great place to remember.

I had the opportunity to visit this memorial in Oklahoma City last year for the tenth anniversary of the bombing. Below are some photos I took while at the site.


Oklahoma City National Memorial

Friday, April 14, 2006

What Is Spiritual Abuse? - Part 3

This is the third and final installment of what spiritual abuse is. It is written by Dr. Morris Chapman about a book written on this subject. Following are the four remaining characteristics of spiritual abuse.

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The first three characteristics of a spiritually abusive system were addressed in a previous blog. They are Power-Posturing, Performance Preoccupation, and Unspoken Rules. As in previous posts, I am quoting extensively from the authors of the book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse.

4. Lack of Balance

The fourth characteristic of a spiritually abusive system is an unbalanced approach to living out the truth of the Christian life. This shows itself in two extremes: extreme objectivism and extreme subjectivism.

Extreme Objectivism

The first extreme is an empirical approach to life that elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience. Even though the Holy Spirit’s work might be acknowledged theologically, on a practical level it would be suspect, or denied.

This approach to spirituality creates a spiritual system in which authority is based upon the level of education and intellectual capacity alone, rather than on intimacy with God, obedience and sensitivity to His Spirit. The New Testament says, “Now as [the religious leaders] observed the confidence of Peter and John, and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were marveling, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13). Peter and John’s confidence and authority come from the fact that they had been with Jesus, and they were “filled with the Holy Spirit” (Acts 4:8).

Extreme Subjectivism

The other manifestation in the lack of balance is seen in an extremely subjective approach to the Christian life. What is true is decided on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to them than to what the Bible declares.

As with the extreme objective approach, Christians who are highly subjective also have a view of education – most often, that education is bad or unnecessary. There is almost a pride in not being educated, and a disdain for those who are. We must remember that Paul wrote to Timothy, “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15 NASB).

It is important to study the Word of God. And it is good, not bad, to acquire mental tools to handle God’s Word accurately. The guidance of the Holy Spirit in our lives will never contradict the Word of God, therefore any “impression” God’s Spirit makes upon our minds and hearts will be in accord with God’s written Word.

Three reasons it is difficult to leave a spiritually abusive system--

The authors state, “People within spiritually abusive systems are wounded and tired. The first four characteristics of spiritual abuse explain why. Now we would like to examine why many find it difficult or impossible to leave, even after the abuse is recognized.”

Because of the focus on performance, things about a spiritual abusive situation may look good to those who have yet to follow a spiritually abusive leader. A system that concentrates upon spiritual abuse acts like a “spiritual magnet” pulling in people who are drawn by several factors, including the potential to join a ‘righteous cause,’ be on the winning side, and/or become the recipients of rewards for being submissive and obedient. However, the system acts like a black hole with spiritual gravity so strong it is very hard for people to get out.

Even information about what is going on within the system can’t get out. If you tell others your growing concerns about the control factors in place, you are then treated as if you are the problem. The following three characteristics of spiritual abuse have been identified by the authors as making spiritual systems difficult to escape.

5. Paranoia

Johnson and Van Vonderen state that “In the spiritual abusive situation, there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that ‘others will not understand what we’re all about, so let’s not let them know—that way they won’t be able to ridicule or persecute us.’” A silent spirit of paranoia is developed in the situation wherein people are being abused spiritually. Such a mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability and makes it more difficult for people to leave. People are misled into thinking the only safety is in the system. Ironically, Jesus and Paul both warned that one of the worst dangers to the flock was from wolves in the house (Matthew 10:16; Acts 20:29-30).

In the utilization of spiritual abuse it is not uncommon for the abuser to focus on, even create, an external enemy in the minds of the abused in order to keep from answering legitimate questions.

6. Misplaced Loyalty

The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We’re not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, group, or leader. Because authority is assumed or legislated (and therefore not real) following must be legislated as well. A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God.

There are three factors that come into play, leading to a charge of misplaced loyalty, (1) leadership projects a “we alone are right” mentality, (2) leadership uses “scare tactics” to intimidate and/or threaten, and (3) leadership threatens humiliation.

“We Alone are Right”

Those who have given their allegiance to the leaders(s) must remain in the system if they want to be “safe,” and not be viewed as wrong or “backslidden.” The authors counsel that “you need to be in a situation where you can open up your heart and receive what God has to give you.”

Scare Tactics

The authors illustrate what they mean by scare tactics. They state that “not long ago a Christian man made it clear to us that he had separated himself from the world by not fellowshipping with ‘the infidels.’ As we talked, we learned that his definition of ‘infidel’ was not limited to non-Christians. It also included Christians from other denominations, certain Christians from his own denomination, and even Christians from his own church who didn’t think as he did. In fact, we were dismayed to learn that we were also considered ‘infidels’ because we failed to agree with him.” Scare tactics are used in a spiritually abusive setting as spiritual blackmail.

Humiliation

The third method leading to the charge of misplaced loyalty is the threat of humiliation. This is done by publicly shaming, exposing, or threatening to remove people from the group. The authors go on to say, “Unquestionably, there is a place for appropriate church discipline, but in the abusive system, it is the fear of being exposed, humiliated, or removed that insures your proper allegiance and insulate those in authority. You can be “exposed” for asking too many questions, for disobeying the unspoken rules, or for disagreeing with authority.
People are made public examples in order to send a message to those who remain. Others have phone campaigns launched against them to warn their friends and others in the group about how “dangerous” they are.

7. Secretive

Authors Johnson and Van Vonderen state that “when you see people in a religious system being secretive—watch out. People don’t hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.” One reason spiritually abusive people are so secret is because they are so image conscious. They can’t live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real.

The leader’s “condescending, negative view of the laity” is another reason for secrecy. They tell themselves, ‘People are not mature enough to handle truth.’ This is patronizing, at best.
Defensive conspiracies too often develop among the ones being abused. Since it is not alright to talk about problems, people form conspiracies behind closed doors and over the telephone as they try to solve things informally, but nothing gets solved. All the while, building God’s true Kingdom is put on hold.

Conclusion

When these seven characteristics exist in a denomination, church, group, or family, the result will be spiritual abuse. It will be a closed system with rigid boundaries that prevent people from leaving.

The authors conclude the naming of the seven characteristics with the following observation. “We believe one answer lies in the abusive system’s use – or misuse – of Scripture.” They open the following chapter with these words, “Used rightly, the Word of God is a sword, exposing motives of the heart, and a lamp lighting the way for those who follow God.

Misused, it can become nothing more than a club in the hands of those who equate pretending with obedience and silence with peace. If you care to read more, I give you the information needed to order the book from your Christian bookstore. The title of the book is The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen, and published by Bethany House (1991). What I have written draws extensively from the authors themselves and gives you the source for further study. As I have previously stated, I do not agree with every supposition made by the authors. Nevertheless, spiritual abuse is a little known subject, and merits study and better understanding.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

What is Spiritual Abuse? - Part 2

Here is a continuation of Part 1 on Spiritual Abuse.

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The authors, Johnson and Van Vonderen, have identified seven (7) of the most common characteristics of the truly abusive system. These characteristics are certain unhealthy dynamics that dictate how people function within spiritual abusive systems.

Spiritual abuse is not so readily recognizable to prevent it from occurring in any denomination, any church, or any para-church organization. In fact, even if individuals in a religious group observed spiritual abuse, most would choose to ignore it for any number of reasons.

1. Power-Posturing

The authors point out that the first characteristic of an abusive religious system is power-posturing. Power-posturing simply means that leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well.

Those who are true leaders demonstrate authority, spiritual power, and credibility by their lives and message. God gives authority, and He does so in the body of Christ to build them, serve them, equip them, and set them free to do God’s agenda – which may or may not coincide with the agenda of the leadership. Matthew 10:1 says, “And having summoned His twelve disciples, He gave them authority.”

Leaders to whom God has given authority shepherd the flock and in so doing, set people free. Yet leaders without genuine spiritual authority from God spend a lot of energy posturing about how much authority they have and how much everyone else is supposed to submit to it. The fact that they are eager to place people under them – under their word, under their “authority” – is one easy-to-spot clue that they are operating in their own authority.

2. Performance Preoccupation

In abusive religious systems, leaders are preoccupied with the performance of their members. Obedience and submission are two important words in these systems. Spiritually abusive systems do not foster holiness or obedience to God; they merely accommodate a leader’s distorted interpretation of spirituality and their need for control. In the larger context of spiritual leadership, you will see that it is only appropriate to obey and submit to leadership when their authority is from God and their spirit is consistent with His.

3. Unspoken Rules

Unspoken rules are those that govern unhealthy denominations, churches, other religious organizations, and families, but are not said out loud. Because they are not said out loud, you don’t find out that they are there until you break them. In this setting, if an individual disagrees with the leader, they will never again be trusted and loyalty becomes suspect. Rules like this remain unspoken because examining them in the light of mature dialogue would instantly reveal how illogical, unhealthy, and anti-Christian they are. So silence becomes the fortress wall of protection, shielding the leader’s power position from scrutiny or challenge.

The authors point out that “when you find unspoken rules by breaking them unintentionally, you will then suffer one of two consequences: either neglect (being ignored, overlooked, shunned) or aggressive legalism (questioned, openly censured, asked to leave)…”

In the conservative evangelical church, the spoken word is, “the Bible is the written authority.” In the same denomination, church, or family there may also be an unwritten rule that says, “It is better to be nice than to be honest.” The written rule, the Bible, says in Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

In this context, now we have a conflict. The written rule says one thing, the unwritten rule another. The question is asked, “If you came from a system where both rules were in operation, which rule won most often? Was honesty suppressed, repressed, or even oppressed? In spiritually abusive groups, even though leaders may insist they stand upon the authority of Scripture, you will not always find Scripture to be considered by those leaders as powerful as the unwritten rules.

The most powerful of all unspoken rules in the abusive system is the “can’t talk” rule. The thinking goes like this, “The real problem cannot be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change; so it must be protected behind walls of silence or by legalistic assault. And if you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem. Of course, the presupposition for talking about the problem out loud is that the one talking tells the truth and has a genuine concern for the “body” that supersedes personal, ambitious, self-serving goals.

In spiritually abusive systems, there exists a “pretend peace”— the kind mentioned by Jeremiah when he decried, saying, “The prophets say ‘peace, peace’ when there is none.” If what unites us is our pretending to agree, even though we don’t agree, then we have nothing more than pretend peace…, with undercurrents of tension and backbiting.”

The “can’t talk” rule blames the person who talks, and the ensuing punishments pressure questioners into silence. On the other hand, when God’s Spirit draws us together, it is possible to disagree and yet not destroy the sense of God’s presence in our midst, the cooperation of working side by side for the sake of God’s Kingdom, and our very heartbeat for spanning the globe with our witness that “Jesus saves!”

http://www.morrischapman.com/article.asp?id=39

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The next post will contain the final four characteristics of spiritual abuse identified in the book entitled, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse written by Johnson and Van Vonderen and published in 1991 by Bethany House Publishers.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

What is Spiritual Abuse? - Part 1

The next three posts will be excerpts taken from Dr. Morris Chapman as he reviews a book entitled The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen. It explains what some of today's pastors and leaders are doing in churches that appear to be biblical leadership but is not and what we need to be looking for if we suspect or feel God telling us that there is something wrong. Here is part 1:

The back cover of the paperback book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse offers the hope of “breaking free from spiritual enslavement.” The promotional paragraph states that no one should leave church or any other place of shelter and encouragement feeling manipulated or controlled. The authors note that such places can become abusive if spiritual leaders begin to use their authority to meet their needs for importance, power, or spiritual gratification. If successful, they can rob individuals of their joy in Christ.

As with most, if not all books, statements are made with which I disagree, but I do think the topic is a worthy one. Most of the material written herein comes directly from the book. I am simply sharing the primary thesis of the book in the words of the authors. They ask the question, “What is spiritual abuse?” Then they define it.

Spiritual abuse is the mistreatment of a person who is in need of
help, support, or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result
of weakening, undermining, or decreasing that person’s spiritual
empowerment.

The definition is refined with some functional definitions.

* Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual position to control or dominate another person. It often involves overriding the feelings and opinions of another, without regard to what will result in the other person’s state of living, emotions, or spiritual well-being. In this application, power is used to bolster the position or needs of a leader, over and above one who comes to them in need.

* Spiritual abuse can also occur when spirituality is used to make others live up to a “spiritual standard.” This promotes external “spiritual performance,” also without regard to an individual’s actual well-being, or is used as a means of proving a person’s spirituality.

One of the reasons the authors wrote the book is to help both leaders and followers recognize spiritual systems that have become abusive. For those who discover they’ve built a system that’s spiritually abusive – enslaving people to a system, a leader, a standard of performance – Johnson and Van Vonderen offer advice and guidance that can help you change and return to grace.
The apostle Paul wrote:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5.1 NIV).



At the root of the problem of spiritual abuse is having forgotten the incredible price that was paid, in blood, for our freedom in Christ. If you have opportunity to read the book you will discover the biblical examples and scriptural references contained therein.

After showing examples of perpetrators in the Old and New Testaments, the question is asked, “Who are the perpetrators today?” Their answer is, “First, there is the neglect of real needs in favor of the ‘needs’ of authority; then legalism replaces rest in God with demands for spiritual performance. Abuse is perpetrated by people in positions of power.

In Galatians, the teaching of the Judaizers went something like this: “Faith in Jesus is right, and you must have it. But it’s not enough. In order to really find positive standing in God’s eyes, you have to be circumcised.” In other words, false spiritual systems teach that right standing with God depends on what Jesus did, plus those “spiritual” acts that you do.

Legalism is a form of religious perfectionism that focuses on the careful performance and avoidance of certain behaviors. It teaches people to gain a sense of spiritual acceptance based on their performance, instead of accepting it as a gift on the basis of Christ. Living with Jesus as your only true source of life and acceptance is a confrontation to those who seek God’s approval on the basis of their own religious behavior.

If you perform as perpetrators say you must: (1) it will make them look good; (2) their self-righteousness will escape the scrutiny of the cross of Christ as the only means to God’s favor; (3) it will allow them to examine you instead of themselves; (4) they will be able to “boast in” or gain a sense of validation from your religious performance.

In Timothy 6:5 he warns that these erring teachers “suppose that godliness is a means of gain.” They act godly to gain something. “But, Paul says, “godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment (v.6). Have you ever met a contented legalist, a truly restful religious “performer?” There’s no such person.

What are spiritual leaders to do? Protect the flock from legalists who push religious performance as the means to right standing or favor with God. It is not wrong to notice legalism and protect yourself from being abused.

In ending this week’s blog, I quote a conclusion of the authors. “We believe that all of us, as Christians, need to be on guard – not only against specific leaders and systems that throw their spiritual weight (legalism) around, but against the subtle use of “formulas” and doctrines that are so often used to press good people of the faith into conformity with a religious system instead of conformity to Christ.”

http://www.morrischapman.com/article.asp?id=38